Does anyone feel the pressure to be what society thinks is a “good friend”? Because I sure as hell do.
I love my friends, I’d be there in a minute if they needed me. I pick up my phone (and most of the time call back) people that I haven’t talked to in years. I go months, even a year (oops) without talking to some of my friends, but I still would be there.
There is this stigma that being a good friend is constantly reaching out, hanging out every day, etc. I feel like that’s just an unrealistic expectation that is so hard for people to be able to uphold. People’s lives change. Things happen unexpectedly. Some people (like me) just don’t have the capacity to keep up on talking to someone every day, give my attention to the family I have created, keep my house in somewhat order, work, and keep up with my own self. None of that means I don’t love my village.
When I think of a good friend, here are the things I first think of:
Kind, but protective
There when I need them
Accepts me & my family
Doesn’t always agree with me, but supports & loves me anyway
Understanding
If someone doesn’t support me, even when they don’t agree with me- I don’t feel like that’s what I need in my life. I want friends who know that I may not talk everyday, but I love them. Friends that cheer me on (from close or afar). I don’t need my friends to check in everyday. We all got our own lives, I get it.
I hope that someone who reads this feels less alone. That it is okay to not reach out every day, don’t feel bad. You have a life. Some of you have multiple jobs. Some of you have kids & a husband. Some of you are just content with not talking everyday. Or you are all of them. I love that for every single person.
And if you’re my friend & you’re reading this- I love you & if you text me, I’ll probably forget to text back. Same with calling. But I promise I’ll get back to you.
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