A couple weekends ago, I visited my best friend and celebrated my niece. In that short time, I told her that we are the default parents. And sometimes, I wish we could be the fun parents…
On my drive home the next day- I had a lot of time to think. I have to figure out how to balance both, because I am a single mother. This one is mostly for the parents who have a duel parent household, because I see it sooo often.
On my drive- I thought that being just the fun parent would actually suck. Hear me out- being a default parent means you’re probably going to get all the chores and your kid(s) are definitely going to come to you first. They’ll probably pass the other parent just to have you open a fruit snack. This part is going to sound crazy, but we are damn lucky to be that parent. The default parent is the one that the child feels the most comfortable to go to for help 24/7, that’s where they’re going to go 99.9% of the time.
I urge you to think about it this way: as a default parent your child is going to look back and say “My mom used to always do everything for me, even when she didn’t feel like it. Even when she was tired, she still did it. She made sure I had everything I wanted and needed.” I just think that’s so special.
When my kids and I wind down at the end of the day- they’re exhausted, they’re spilling emotions out, they’re probably arguing with each other, they want 7,000 things. They want to be touching me and snuggling me. And honestly, I look back once I crawl into bed and think “Man, it was exhausting, but it was worth it.”
Being the default parent is tough, there is no denying that. But we are damn lucky to be that for our babies.
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